Insomnia

Oh how I wish to forget some memories,
The ones that scrape the heart,
The ones that scar for life,
The ones that made me a fool,
The ones I didn't learn in school,

Oh why do they hunt my mind
Oh why do the rob me blind
Of wishful dreams I once had
Of inner peace I desperately desire
Of trust.

Words without meanings to you,
Sentences without sense to me:
I love you
I need you
I want you
I want to feel you
Passionate to one
Meaningless to another
Sentences that broke
the bridges of trust
and carved into the gray cells
Forever

Leave me alone
Splatter my brain
I am insane
The grid, the web
Consumes my breath
and it seems impossible to regain
The sanity, the comfort, the reliance, the innocence
I am insane.

Ah you tainted memories,
Leave me alone at nights,
Let me sleep in peace,
Let me live and hope
for a possible world
without liars
without deceit
without mistrust

A world that I can love again.
Without fear, is there love at all?
Without hope, is there love at all?
Without feelings, is there love at all?
Without fantasies, is there love at all?

Payman Abdali